Frustrations

I have been to countless doctors and had countless tests to get a diagnosis for my seizures… with NO luck.

My GP thinks I’m nuts… My first neurologist was willing to try medication but he moved away and left me in the hands of another neurologist. THIS neurologist suggested I go to therapy. I beg your pardon, sir, but I’ve already got my shit together, thanks. I don’t need to pay someone to tell me how I’m feeling and why. I think I’ve got that under control far more than many of the other people in this world. Do you get some kind of a commission for referring people to therapists? jeeze.

My current neuro not only thought I should try therapy, but also that I should continue “dancing” (as I told him I like to dance for fun [ like to footloose!]).

I don’t have a problem with dancing, not at all, in fact, I was doing it today. And guess what… I had a SEIZURE.

Everyone who thinks it is caused by my excessive caffeine consumption… I haven’t had ANY caffeine in OVER two weeks, so…. I don’t think that’s it.

Today is the second day in a row during which I’ve had a seizure. I had one yesterday, too. And the past few times I’ve had them, it’s only been once per day rather than 5-7 times a day.

I guess that’s good, but god effing damned if I’m not frustrated as all hell.

I’m going to the hospital for 5 days in mid December for a Video EEG. I will be confined to my hospital room… hooray.

I’m just SO frustrated that it has been almost a YEAR since these things started and STILL no one can give me any answers.

And no, I can’t avoid the activites I’m doing when they happen… If I did that I would have to stop: Dancing, Showering, Looking at Calendars, Attending Class, Running Errands, Getting Juice, Entering my Kitchen and/or Bathroom.

Just not practical I tell you!

 

ughhhh….. sorry, needed to vent.

 

Prayers Requested

Hey everyone… if you’re someone who prays, I ask that you please pray for a few things for me

First, I ask that you pray for my Grandmother, who is currently suffering and in a great deal of pain. She has cancer and they stopped chemo in August. She has gone downhill dramatically since then and they don’t estimate that she will have much longer. I ask that you pray for her to find peace and comfort, not that you pray for her to get better. I’m not naive enough to think that will happen.

Second I ask that you pray that my 24hour EEG, which begins tomorrow at 1pm, yields some results to help get me treatment.

Finally, I just want to say thank you in advance to everyone who does take the time to say a quick prayer. It means a lot to me. Thank you.

(P.S. If you play the video I posted a few days ago while praying or thinking.. I find that it intensifies it… a lot. Maybe that’s just me, but it’s worth a try.)

A Test

I’ve decided to post my sexually explicit novel excerpt. Mainly to test my theory that my blog hits sky-rocket whenever I write about sex and/or anything pertaining to it (such as the anatomically active parts during sexual encounters)

Is it selfish? Yeah, it is. Do I care? Nope, I sure don’t.

I’ll let you know how it turns out. (And I’d love any feedback on the excerpt, which I will be posting momentarily.)

Sleep Deprivation

I had my MRI yesterday morning. I have no idea how it went, I just know that it was very loud.

This morning I have my EEG. I need to be sleep deprived for it, so I only slept for about 3 hours.

I tried to stay up all night. It was not possible, though it would have been if I were allowed to drink caffeine (which I am NOT until after the test.)

I’m also not allowed to put any product in my hair, so I look like Medusa. Excellent.

So anyway, I’m not a fan of sleep deprivation to the extent I took it to. I woke up and felt like I was going to throw up. Gross.

Please cross your fingers for me for any of the following reasons:

- That the test goes well (of course)

-That I do not fall asleep until after the test (which is still 3 hours away)

-That I do not have to meet anyone of great importance today (because I am loopy from no sleep and look frightening)

-That I do not make any important life decisions or sign any binding legal documents until after I take a nap. HA